…but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
I should be picking up my registration packet for the sprint triathlon I was signed up for this weekend. I should be sitting in an athlete’s meeting listening to the details of the race. My bike should be hanging in transition, not sitting in my garage.
It broke my heart when I finally decided to pull myself from the triathlon this weekend. Stubborn me was determined to still do it despite dealing with severe, undiagnosed medical problems. I’ve seen many doctors the last couple weeks, but I’m still sick and in pain. I’ve been told to wait and hope it gets better. There is nothing they can do. No tests can be run.
For awhile, I thought I’d still try to finish. But really, what does that accomplish? I’ve done three tris before; I’ve done this specific race before. Originally, this race was going to be my best, going all out because I was familiar with the course. What’s the point if I can’t do that anymore? Is it worth it to push myself to just finish? No. It is better to rest and recover. I’m a teacher. School starts in 10 days. It isn’t worth it to struggle through a race just because I signed up if I end up getting more sick or hurt and unable to teach. If I tried to race, I’m sure I would’ve ended up tapping out before finishing, and that would feel even worse than pulling out now. It wouldn’t be a fun race.
As much as it pains me, there will be other races and I will get better someday. Thankfully I paid a little extra when I signed up for the series so I could get a refund if necessary, so it isn’t a total loss. While this is certainly a tough, low point for me, it is also in the midst of a wonderful, joyous time in my life.
We all make plans. It is an important thing to do. However, we can’t cling so tightly to our plans because sometimes, oftentimes, God has a greater plan. What’s awesome is while our plans have flaws, God’s are perfect. Maybe we don’t see how, but God is holding our tomorrow.
My triathlon season may be over, but I’m in for a whole new set of tris…trimesters. I found out at the end of July that I’m expecting a baby. Maybe some people will say the timing doesn’t seem great, but God knows it is. I have nothing to fear. I really wanted a baby. I wouldn’t have expected or planned it now, but I am so happy to be given this blessing. I’d say the timing is pretty good. While I can’t make it through the whole school year, God-willing, baby will arrive during or after spring break.
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3
I appreciate any prayers for my healing from multiple medical problems (unrelated to pregnancy, but further testing is too dangerous because of pregnancy). Pray that I can faithfully serve the Lord in my position as a teacher, working with his children. Pray for Ezekiel and I as we prepare to become parents. Pray for our baby, that he or she will be kept safe while growing inside me by the same hands that formed him or her in my womb.